I shall start by quoting this verse from the Bible which came to mind when I was meditating.
Psalm 16:8-11King James Version (KJV)
8 I have set the Lord always before me: because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved.
9 Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoiceth: my flesh also shall rest in hope.
10 For thou wilt not leave my soul in hell; neither wilt thou suffer thine Holy One to see corruption.
11 Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.
I love the month of December because it means holidays are coming and I will have approximately 1 week to do what I would rather be doing on weekdays 8am – 5pm. I also love December because it’s Starbucks Toffee Nut Latte season. What I don’t like about December is the fact that the new year is approaching, which also means that the Chinese New Year is approaching. It used to mean more to me back in the days when my sisters were not married and it was like “Thanksgiving” or Christmas holidays when we have family reunions. However, things have been different for years. It’s more like a season when some cousins come and stay over because they would be doing the Chinese New Year visitations at a rural district and prefer to stay somewhere urban, and free of charge. Every year it’s the same, which means receiving the red packets (lucky money). (Only singles receive this from the married adults.) So, there’s a certain stigma to it when older (married) relatives keep giving you “lucky money” even after you’ve hit the 30s..or 40s…and single. (At least, that’s how I witness.) Frequently asked questions are, “Do you have a boyfriend yet? Have you met someone? Are you dating? Why are you not dating? Isn’t there anyone in your workplace?” Of course as you grow older, the questions decrease but the money keeps coming. Relatives will talk to your father to find out about your marital status and if he needs help in getting that changed from “single” to “married”.
My sister and my brother-in-law once tried to set me up with one of his friends. I knew something was strange when she kept saying things on his favour and my heart said “uh oh” silently. Lunch was incredibly boring and I spent most of the time playing games on my iPhone because all the men could talk about was how the economy was doing and business etc… (Yawn…) I confronted her later that day and warned her never ever try that again.
When I was in my 20s, it felt like I was going to die, if my friends got married and I remained single. But hey, you don’t get married for the sake of getting married. My motto when I told my friends was “If it happens, it happens. If it doesn’t, it doesn’t.” But that doesn’t take away the pressure from society. Of course, along the way, God helps you pick up the pieces of your broken heart when the one you adore doesn’t feel the same towards you; or… when someone you adore leaves for another country and gets married. It happens. Meanwhile, you get attention from people whom you feel zero chemistry with. This happens too.
Sometimes people around tend to make you feel that you’re incomplete without a spouse. Unfortunately this also happens in the household of faith. To me, life isn’t about a race to get married and have children. I am already complete, when Jesus came into my life. As for the rest of my years – however few or many that I will have, I hope to live life pursuing what He put me here to do…single, or married.
To those who keep saying that marriage and children will ensure that there will be at least someone to take care of you when you’re old, I say that it’s not necessarily true. Children when they grow up, may leave the country to work elsewhere. As for me, I know that only the LORD is with me all the time. And He will look after me when I grow old. My faith is in Him and Him alone, not in pension funds for provision etc… but God will provide for my every need.