The year is about to wrap up. As someone said before, once September comes, you know the rest of the months will pretty much fly by. He’s so right.
2017 has been a very eventful year in many ways but as it draws to an end, I’m beginning to see how 2018 is going to be a tough and busy year. One thing that doesn’t change is that I need God.
Taking extra work load has caused me to get more headaches, become more grouchy, lose my me time and my painting time. The transition itself drives me crazy and I often say to myself “why is this happening? Why is the person who resigned leaving so much shit behind?” Those questions never end. I can’t understand how someone who is getting a decent pay would not do his/her best. I refuse to believe that he/she doesn’t know how to do his/her work correctly.
It has been so stressful and I not only feel tired but it’s such an effort to not throw shoes at this person. Because of what I go through, I find it impossible to wish this person well. In fact, it draws so much strength of mine just to stop myself from wishing him evil.
This is the worst transition. Ever.
Have you ever been to a buffet dinner (or lunch) where you end up taking more food than you can consume? Did you sneak the small pieces of butter in your bag? Well – no doubt you paid for the buffet price but have you asked yourself why you’re doing that?
Not that I’ve done that but I’ve been to buffets with people I know. They take big bags to keep the bread or butter inside. I’ve never felt comfortable about it because I find myself asking this question, “Why do you need to sneak in so much extra food? Do you think God cannot provide for you tomorrow?”
What do you think?
Each time I listen to this song, tears would flow naturally.
This evening, I spent some time at the art gallery putting up the price labels on my artworks. I was reminded of what Jesus did for me. The very fact that I will be having my solo art exhibition is evidence enough that God hears and knows the desires of my heart.
The God I serve is leading me closer to my dreams. The God I serve still sees me as valuable even though I’m not worthy. And I remain so thankful…
I didn’t realize that someone had given me a RM1 bill that is torn at the corner. Of course, the parking machine will not accept it and if we tape it up, the machine would still be sensitive not to accept it. So, I emailed to find out how I can get it exchanged for a “good” bill (ie. not torn). I didn’t receive any reply from the ministry. Furious, I started to think how I can pass this problem to someone else (another cashier — who might end up passing this torn cash bill to someone else).
At lunch, I placed my cash properly and chose my meal that would not require much change. Yes, I did it. Someone else took that torn cash bill and it’s no longer my problem. But I felt convicted in my heart. And repented.
So, here are some questions for you (readers)… who are followers of Christ.
- Do you mean the words you sing at church during praise and worship? (‘cos it’s not just singing…)
- What is in your heart? (Yup… I felt myself being asked as well,… when we say that we submit to God, have we really submitted? Or are we withholding areas in our lives….
- Are we doing life His way,… or our way?
- Do we seek God for solutions – or do we scheme our way?
1 Samuel 16:7 New International Version (NIV)
7 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
Ever had one of those times when everything comes snowballing at you? I had a very bad two weeks when it was like my world was crashing down. There was a moment when I saw lyrics of praise songs but I just could not sing it. It was so difficult. I didn’t know how or what to say in my prayer anymore – and just cried in my car when I was alone. God came through for me on one of my issues yesterday. Praise God.
I have a reason for not having blogged for a while. While I’ve been so busy working on art projects which will be exhibited on my solo exhibition, I wanted to write this post to remind myself how good God is.
Looking back on my journey so far, I’m glad I never truly gave up.
Yes, I did throw down my brushes for a time but I picked them up again after some time. I think my heart had to accept that it is all about Him and His plans… Not my desire to be a ‘future Monet’. The doors that have opened to me only happened after I laid down my dreams and goals. I would never have expected those doors to open to me.
But God is good.
This is the reminder that just because some things have not happened yet, it doesn’t mean that God is withholding good things from me. Many times it’s about timing and readiness. And maturity on my side…plus character.
Exodus 4:3-4 KJVS
 And he said, Cast it on the ground. And he cast it on the ground, and it became a serpent; and Moses fled from before it.  And the Lord said unto Moses, Put forth thine hand, and take it by the tail. And he put forth his hand, and caught it, and it became a rod in his hand:
While painting at the gallery, my teacher ended up talking about the subject I dread hearing about. Marriage.
I don’t believe that as women, if we’re not married by the time we reach early 40s, we should just accept practically anyone who walks in our lives that show interest in us. Anyhow, I know that if I meet him, I will know it; and he will know it too.
I still believe that my life partner, if there is one, will be someone who shares the same faith and therefore runs the same race. He should have his own dreams but if his dreams hinder mine, then we’re not equally yoked. Plus there should be at least some attraction – after all, you will be waking up next to the person pretty much every day. She mentioned about children as companions when we grow old. Well, I don’t believe that too because even if I got married and had kids, they’re to have their own lives. I don’t expect them to hold back on their dreams to “look after me” because God will look after me.
At the end of the conversation, I said I preferred puppies.