Ever had one of those times when everything comes snowballing at you? I had a very bad two weeks when it was like my world was crashing down. There was a moment when I saw lyrics of praise songs but I just could not sing it. It was so difficult. I didn’t know how or what to say in my prayer anymore – and just cried in my car when I was alone. God came through for me on one of my issues yesterday. Praise God.
I have a reason for not having blogged for a while. While I’ve been so busy working on art projects which will be exhibited on my solo exhibition, I wanted to write this post to remind myself how good God is.
Looking back on my journey so far, I’m glad I never truly gave up.
Yes, I did throw down my brushes for a time but I picked them up again after some time. I think my heart had to accept that it is all about Him and His plans… Not my desire to be a ‘future Monet’. The doors that have opened to me only happened after I laid down my dreams and goals. I would never have expected those doors to open to me.
But God is good.
This is the reminder that just because some things have not happened yet, it doesn’t mean that God is withholding good things from me. Many times it’s about timing and readiness. And maturity on my side…plus character.
Exodus 4:3-4 KJVS
 And he said, Cast it on the ground. And he cast it on the ground, and it became a serpent; and Moses fled from before it.  And the Lord said unto Moses, Put forth thine hand, and take it by the tail. And he put forth his hand, and caught it, and it became a rod in his hand:
While painting at the gallery, my teacher ended up talking about the subject I dread hearing about. Marriage.
I don’t believe that as women, if we’re not married by the time we reach early 40s, we should just accept practically anyone who walks in our lives that show interest in us. Anyhow, I know that if I meet him, I will know it; and he will know it too.
I still believe that my life partner, if there is one, will be someone who shares the same faith and therefore runs the same race. He should have his own dreams but if his dreams hinder mine, then we’re not equally yoked. Plus there should be at least some attraction – after all, you will be waking up next to the person pretty much every day. She mentioned about children as companions when we grow old. Well, I don’t believe that too because even if I got married and had kids, they’re to have their own lives. I don’t expect them to hold back on their dreams to “look after me” because God will look after me.
At the end of the conversation, I said I preferred puppies.
I didn’t realize that I had not written anything in this blog since early May. Anyway, the title of the post says it all. I’ve been so busy. There’s a lot of work getting prepared for a solo art exhibition.
I have mixed feelings. There’s a mixture of excitement and nervousness. (And no, I don’t want to pressure myself so I’m not expecting any of the works to be sold. If yes, praise the Lord. If not, praise the Lord that I still have the opportunity to do a solo exhibition with minimum expenses. Truly He does provide.
I slowly see my dreams coming true. What I’ve waited for so very long appears now within my reach. No words to say, except “Thank You, Jesus”.
Now I know the wait wasn’t in vain. Indeed He does all things well. Praise the LORD!
Working in the field of supply chain has taught me that what we expect about demand and supply never happens almost all the time. It’s always easier to believe the theory but really, who would know that the so called strategy in winning over deals only work in theory.
I learned something about God’s provision a week ago, at the art studio. While chatting with my teacher, I casually brought up the subject of the upcoming art competition. I wasn’t even thinking of joining. In fact, I wanted to say that I wasn’t certain about it. The next thing I knew, my teacher asked if I brought a big canvas. When I said no, she started looking around in her studio and gave me a canvas. It was a used canvas but nevertheless, it can be used. So she started guiding me and I spent hours painting on the canvas and thoughts started dropping in my head.
When God orders you to do something, He will back you up. In my case, it could be joining the competition or simply doing that big art work for my solo exhibition. The point is, He will supply my needs.
Philippians 4:19 King James Version (KJV)
19 But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
How He supplies our needs is up to Him. I might have been looking for a big white canvas but He supplied me with a big used canvas. In my eyes, I might not have been able to know that the used canvas can still be worked on. But God sees everything (and everyone). Similarly, I think we sometimes have the tendency to label a person useless or hopeless in the sense that we can’t see any redeemable quality in him/her but the Lord sees their heart.
1 Samuel 16:7 English Standard Version (ESV)
7 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”
So, tomorrow I’ll be celebrating my birthday. By now, I’m not sure if there’s much to celebrate since as we get older,.. naturally our metabolism slows down and we get aches and pains etc…
I hope I remember to number my days and use it wisely. After all, time is the most expensive commodity. Time that’s lost can never be earned.
Earlier today, I was asked what made me decide not to get married. I wasn’t sure what to answer since I didn’t make the decision. But I didn’t want to told that I’m picky. Then again, I am picky. By that, I mean, if I get married, he is a man who shares the same faith. He has to be a man after God’s own heart.
So tomorrow as I get a year older, (and hopefully wiser)… I’m still unmarried but God is still faithful to me. And I look forward to His return. Till then, I will pursue the dreams He planted in my heart.