I have had a very bad week with issues at the workplace snowballing and people driving me up the wall. I had clashes with a colleague and that alone was enough to make me want to throw in the towel. I was so frustrated. It seemed like I had reached a dead end. There was never a moment when I didn’t question my very existence and I wanted so much to have reached my goal.
On that Wednesday I felt like I was going to blow up. I felt all sorts of words creeping up my mouth and at that moment, I knew if I had not walked out, I may very well have uttered swear words or even curses at this certain person. Instead, I walked off, like a piece of burning coal. It took such an effort to walk away. In fact, it would’ve been easier to just retaliate. When I went back to my desk, I spoke to God in my heart, “Now would be the right time to take me out of here.” (I’ve always had that deep feeling in my heart that I am meant for something much greater, and thus,…working in the industry on a 9-to-5 would never satisfy me. I would bring back a paycheck but I would search for ways to satisfy myself. Like a revenge of some sort for slogging away without a built-in passion for that industry.)
I couldn’t sleep well because of the pent up frustrations and may have woken up on Thursday with an upset stomach too. On Thursday night, I had thought of contacting my supplier to try and work out some issues but instead, I decided to sleep on it. It was like a personal pause. I was tired and irritated and stressed. I uttered a short prayer to God and closed my eyes to sleep.
This morning, a part of me wanted to check my email to see if there was any new updates on the issue but a little voice whispered to my heart to not do anything, just rest. And so, I didn’t log in.
I decided to spend the morning doing my reading. The verse for today was Job 42:2.
(NKJV) Job 42:2 “I know that You can do everything, And that no purpose of Yours can be withheld from You.”
The very fact that He can do everything made me think harder about my situation. If He wanted to, He could immediately deliver me from all the discomforts. Or better yet – He could’ve prevented this entire episode. But there had to be a reason why He was allowing this to happen.
When I read the email at the office, I realized that the issue has been resolved. In hindsight, I wish I had gone to God when the issues started. I would’ve saved myself some very bad headaches. I knew that it was God helping me with this payment issue I was facing. It has given me different perspectives.
In most cases when we come across situations that are less than pleasing or situations that cause great discomfort, it’s human nature to want to leave and look for somewhere comfortable. Looking back, surely the LORD was using those unpleasant situations to shape our characters. Sometimes we just have to pause. Stop for a while, and cling to God. See how He delivers us.
After all – there’s no such thing as instant spiritual growth and I am sure He would rather see us grow spiritually, then be comfortable.