Two more months to go before we usher in the new year. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that by the end of the year, I’ll get to wear these again. I must return to the gym. But I need to do so without injuring myself again. Gotta burn some calories or I’ll need to burn my old clothes…
I went to the botanical gardens this morning. Yes, I did whine because I had to park very far away from the park. I wanted a good walk at the park, not a long walk to the park. By the time I reached the park, I was beginning to sweat. Then I kept seeing people running, which was normal but when I was halfway through my park, I thought I heard a little voice that spoke to my spirit. “You will run again!” At that moment, I looked up and I saw several people running towards my direction. I turned away and saw a father carrying a little girl on his shoulder. “I will build you up,” I heard the voice speak again.
Then I asked myself why would God show me the runners and the scene of the father and daughter. I think He wanted the message to be ingrained in my mind that He will build me up. Like the father who has the girl on his shoulders, he will lift me up and walk with me until I’m complete healed. I think I will buy myself a pair of new shoes. The old has to go when the new comes.
Yes, I believe that I will run again.
I’ve not written about my knees for a while now. So, today I thought I’d write about them. For those who are in the know about my knee injuries, I’m happy to say that my knees are getting better and better every day. However, my leg muscles are still weak from not having done exercises for a little more than 1 year. Then again, I’ve been trying lunges and I’m getting better. I can feel it. My chiropractor has given me the green light to do those exercises, as long as they do not over-push my knees since everything is recovering.
What I probably never realized in the past is that some of those strengthening exercises may have hurt while I was doing them, but given time, they no longer hurt and my legs feel stronger. God is good!
I’m so thankful I didn’t go for the operation. By the way, if you’re interested in doing a quick workout. I’d recommend this fat blasting exercise. Autumn Calabrese is a good trainer. However, I’ve not made it to 3 sets, let alone 2. However, it surely feels good to be able to do 20 lunges. (Although I know I’ll probably start whining and complaining by this evening when my glutes and quads start to feel really sore.)
Guess what! I can do small jumps now. Praise the LORD! There’s still some pain when I climb stairs – depending how steep they are but I never thought I’d be able to jump again. God is good!
Step by step, I’m recovering.
I don’t know about you, but I didn’t make any new year resolutions because I simply know that I won’t be able to keep them all. 2012 has been a year with frustrations especially the beginning of the year when I was battling the knee injuries. Yes, for a while, I blamed myself for training too hard. I did question myself at one time, is this the price to pay to become fitter? But I’ve given this mess to God and believe that He will work His restoration magic and this mess will become a masterpiece in the end.
New King James Version (NKJV)
28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.
A year ago, I was running on treadmills, daring myself to run for a marathon, or at least prepare for doing a 1/2 marathon. Someone said if you put your mind to it, you can do it. I believe that to a certain extent. I had the mind and perseverance to run a half marathon but I didn’t realize that my body wasn’t made to do it. All these years without knowing that my left leg is 1cm shorter than my right leg. Bearing that in mind and training hard for a marathon, it’s not strange that I would experience knee pain which led to injury after attempts to treat the symptoms failed. I had visited the orthopedic several times up till the point when I was about to give up and just go for the surgery.
The night before my scheduled surgery date, I couldn’t sleep. I just couldn’t get the peace of mind to sleep. Tossed and turned and got up the next day with really tired-looking eyes. Then, I changed my mind and decided not to go for the surgery.
I started visiting the chinese chiropractor for treatments since February 2012. Half a year has gone. I’m still wearing knee braces and insole to balance my body. Your body will tell you that you’re no longer that young once you see that recovery takes a long time. These 6 months have really taught me endurance and patience. Basically you have no choice. You just have to be patient and wait for the healing to happen. As at this moment, I’m only starting to recover – ie. climbing up the stairs is less painful now. And I have to do it slowly. But I still need to walk like a crab – coming down the stairs. And, I still can’t squat because of the calcified ligaments. From my understanding it’s tighten due to lack of use during recovery period.
But I still trust in God that He will enable my body to heal. I can see many doctors and chiropractors but I know that ultimately, the ability of my body to heal truly depends on God.
We are now fast approaching a new year. The weeks suddenly seem to fly. Just a few weeks ago, I was busy checking and planning a trip to Sarawak for the year end shutdown. I thought, I could head there and possibly get some time away to reflect, and plan for the coming year. This of course includes time to roam around the city and be the tourist, but I really wanted some time to enjoy communing with God. It’s almost as if there’s this deep calling in my spirit to get away for a while.
However, knowing me… I would get distracted by different surroundings and the desperate urge to explore, and thus, I would be spending more time with my camera and the city of Kuching instead of spending time with God.
Hence, although this knee injury is causing me much inconvenience and some pain, I praise God that I have been given medical leave for close to 10 days to properly rest my knees. In fact, other than going to the rehab centre for physiotherapy, I am suppose to stay home, so I don’t walk too much.
I’ve embedded this video in my post. It’s a lovely song called My Beloved. And that voice is Kari Jobe. (I find her voice so soothing.) I hope you enjoy the music. I was really moved to tears when I paid more attention to the lyrics.
Here’s an excerpt: (My Beloved – Kari Jobe)
You’re My beloved
You’re My Bride
To sing over you is my delight
Come away with me my love