When was the last time you took the roller coaster? My first (and last) ride on the roller coaster was in Disney World, Florida. Until today, I still can’t believe that I actually rode the Kumba with my sister and brother in-law. I remember how it felt like, knowing that there’s no way out, once everyone was “buckled up”. Of course, my sister and my brother in-law were excited to bits. I was trying to calm down. I think my eyes were closed most of the time but when they were open, so was my mouth and the scream that left it. They said that screaming would help lessen the fear. Really? ‘cos I came out of the ride wondering where I left my stomach.
But I think the real roller coaster is life itself with its unpredictable highs and lows. Sometimes when I read the news, I just wonder how it would’ve been like if I had the opportunity to stay back in Canada. How much of a difference would it have made? I think about my friend who has passed on, and what he would have done if he’s still alive today. Maybe he would’ve been a really famous photographer.
As my colleagues talk about their kids, I talk about my nieces and nephews; and I wondered if I would’ve gotten married if I stayed back in Canada. Perhaps, the chances would have been higher there. But perhaps God knew all along that I never had the maternal instinct that makes women all gooey at the sight of babies. I probably get that way towards puppies but not babies. Even the girl whom I know when she was a teen, said that she wanted to be my flower girl or maid of honour if I got married… Today, she has her own son.
I think what got me thinking of the what ifs was news of Jonathan Crombie’s passing. Those of you who watched the Anne of Green Gables series would know him as the boy next door “Gilbert Blythe”…
He’s just 48. I’m not that far away from that number myself. I’m beginning to enjoy smelling the roses more often. Many times, it’s the little things in life that are special.
Ecclesiastes 1:2-4New Living Translation (NLT)
Everything Is Meaningless
2 “Everything is meaningless,” says the Teacher, “completely meaningless!”
3 What do people get for all their hard work under the sun? 4 Generations come and generations go, but the earth never changes.
It has been a stressful week due to family matters. I feel so overwhelmed. Sometimes the people who are closest to you could unknowingly put a lot of pressure on you, as it happened to me.
Yesterday, I felt as if I was at rock bottom and still, there’s a big rock that’s pressing me down further. It made me want to just disappear or hide in a hole. By yesterday evening, I could feel pain behind my eye. Yes, those horrible cluster headaches. Then I decided to put my phone on airplane mode and spent an hour or so in worship and prayer. I desperately wanted peace and didn’t want to get anymore phone calls or messages that night.
It’s amazing how that one hour really lifted my spirits up. Today I’m reminded about the dream I had a few days ago about the ballet and the hiding place. I believe it was the Lord preparing me for this week, or at least inviting me to hide in Him because He already knows what this week was going to be like, for me.
I came across an article written by John Paul Jackson. Here’s an excerpt from the original article :
Hidden in the heart of our Father, we can speak, “Peace, be still,” and the “waves” in our lives will grow calm.
And by the way, my phone was kept offline the entire night, for the first time. Ah…so peaceful.
A friend of mine who frequently had car incidents used a keychain with these words, “Lord, slow me down.” I used to tease her about it but I realize that I am at that stage where I have to slow down in many areas of my life. The fact that I have to stay home for the coming week makes me realize how much I enjoy window shopping even if I don’t come back with anything. I enjoy going to the gym and photography. This is almost like fasting. While it may not be food but it’s fasting from all the activities I enjoy doing. It’s so hard when one is craving for a certain food and although it’s easily available, I’m still suppose to rest more. I can read, write and draw. It’s so much easier to fast a meal because it can be any meal. It’s very challenging to fight the temptation to go out and just buy the food I’ve been craving for.
I realize one thing though. I still face issues at work, but I’m less stressed when I’m working from home and I feel more peaceful. But I can’t wait to be able to walk about normally again. Prayers needed for healing.
It’s also easier to receive from God when one is at rest.
I have to admit that it’s sometimes scary to be alone. Just yesterday when I pondered upon today, and how one of my colleagues will be away on maternity leave for approximately 3 months, I was somewhat reluctant to face today. I had thought that I might have to do lunch alone.
But as I thought more about it, I was reminded that we are never alone. God’s presence goes with us wherever we go.
7Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? 8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. 9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea,10 even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.
Just the knowledge of His presence is an assurance that I am under His watchful eyes. And therefore, I should not feel lonely (or alone) and should feel His hands guiding me.