I was trying to think of which “category” this post would fit but it seems like there is no specific category which would match it. My MacBook Pro is aging and slowing down. It’s 5 – 6 years old and running the latest OS. The soundcard is dying, speakers are dying and so I’m using external speaker, plugged into the computer. This means I need to start budgeting for a new laptop (it has to be a MacBook Pro). Ever since I started using the Apple computers, there was no going back for me. Still, I can’t decide if I should buy it now while my computer is still alive. I’m not sure when it will die. By the time it dies, I’m not sure how (more expensive) the MacBook Pro will be considering the current USD to Malaysian Ringgit conversion rate…not forgetting the GST etc….
I just spent quite a lot when I had to change all my 4 car tyres (but that’s necessary, I guess.) Then there’s the keyboard (or midi controller) that I’ve been eyeing on…. (I guess the amount I would’ve spent for it was already used up in the car expenses).
And recently my sister had told me about the digitizer (pen tablet – Wacom)… Hmm..I guess I want that too. Because it’s a lot easier to draw/paint (digitally) when there’s no pop up warning boxes informing me that the memory (iPad) is running low.
Wanting far too much, … for far too long? ….. Sigh…..
Remember those days when you were studying in school, trying to achieve high scores in exams and in some cases, trying to pass a course in university? I remember frequently wishing that I could graduate school STAT! No more school, no more exams, no more 3 hour evening lectures. Those 4 years felt like forever when I was studying, but looking back, it all went by too fast. Now, there are bills to pay, goals to pursue, ever increasing workload with a stagnant pay, or salary that doesn’t increase as fast as inflation (Hint: Property prices in Penang, etc. etc. etc..)
In my quest to get a property, I find that it’s close to impossible to get something that I like. When the downpayment is affordable, the property is too far away and less desirable since it’s located right in the industrial zone. When the area is desirable, the price is too high. When you qualify for the loan, there’s not enough cash for the downpayment and of course the legal fees, stamp duty etc…
When I think about all this, I just long for my eternal home. At least I don’t have to worry about down payments, bank loan and furnishing costs…
John 14: 3 If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am,there you may be also.
Nothing tests us quite like money, eh? It all started with the letter from a certain bank addressed to me. They were going to bill me for my dormant account. But wait a minute, what dormant account? I had no recollection whatsoever about opening a savings account with this bank. Then as usual, the mind wanders. I couldn’t stop trying to solve that puzzle. Some friends joked that perhaps someone wealthy had left me a heritage without my knowledge. Well, that would be like the movies. Yet for a while, I found myself wishing that I would find a windfall (money). Then I thought of what I could do with that money (after setting apart the tithe). Yes! I could finally make it a reality. Print the letter that has been well drafted in my mind, and submit it. Not forgetting, clear my hire purchase loan etc…
Suddenly, I started receiving more and more news on the serious flooding in Bangkok and the appeals for funds to help them. For a while, I battled with myself. Yes, God. That windfall would also help me help them. There was a pause in my train of thought when I heard that familiar voice say, “Give”. It was like God speaking to my heart saying, “Why would you need a windfall to give?” I was once again reminded how blessed I am. I have a roof on my head although I do not own a piece of real estate. I have clothes to wear. I can actually open my closet and choose what to wear. I am not hungry. I have a car.
Isaiah 55:9 (NKJV)
9 “ For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts.
I guess with the limited mind of mine, I had thought (and hoped) that this was going to my the miracle that would propel me towards my destiny. But I surrender. God’s ways are higher than mine. What He calls for, will come to pass, in His time, in His ways.
And by the way, that account was a shared account with my sister. One wonders why the bank officers didn’t put both our names on the respective letter.