I’ve not done anything for myself for the past week, other than getting multivitamins to help sustain my health while I try to manage the madness. I came to the realization yesterday that it’s so much easier to get help in the schooling days. I remember having to shift boxes from one dorm to another and I had two car loads of people helping me. But when I sought for help in dismantling the bed and moving it down, I had two people offering to help whereby one of them has back problems. In the end, I decided to buy a new bed frame because at least I could pay people to assemble the bed.
My mother should be getting discharged from the hospital later this afternoon although the bed will not arrive until Sunday. Since she insists on coming home today, there is no other choice but to let her sleep on the sofa. When my dad suggested that I pick up the bed frames, he said he’d be able to assemble the bed if he doesn’t have osteoporosis problems. Then at that point, I knew I’d have to close one of my eyes and assume that my mom will know her limits. If I couldn’t get help in dismantling the bed, I wasn’t going to ask for help again, in assembling the new bed frame.
What disappointed me most was the offer of help, although it came from someone from the same faith, does have back pain problems. So, I wasn’t going to make things worse for her. And only one person offered to help. Another person whom I approached, didn’t even get back to me although I told him he’s not obligated to help. I would’ve thought he’d at least get back to me so that I could try other options.
Another person who offered to help was my neighbour, and also a woman. She doesn’t share the same faith/belief but she was glad to help.
So, it’s true that it takes a crisis to tell true friends from good friends.
Yesterday had been a hectic day. Been to the hospital to get the ticket number. Came back and drove out again to take my parents to the hospital. Waited about 2 hours to see the specialist. Came home and attended a conference call (work from home) and left again to take my parents to the hospital again. (Physiotherapy) – By the time we got home after running some errands, it was 6:30pm. I don’t know how I made it yesterday. It’s got to be the grace of God. Here’s an excerpt from the lyrics of “Day by Day”. The lyrics seem to echo my voice. But sometimes it’s hard let go and just let God.
Help me then, in every tribulation,
So to trust Thy promises, O Lord,
That I lose not faith’s sweet consolation,
Offered me within Thy holy Word.
Help me, Lord, when toil and trouble meeting,
E’er to take, as from a father’s hand,
One by one, the days, the moments fleeting,
Till with Christ the Lord I stand
When I woke up on Tuesday morning, the word that came to me was “forgiveness” and the more I think about the cross and what Jesus did at the cross, the more I’m grateful to God. I’m truly amazed by God and His amazing love, that sets us free.
Have you ever experienced being reminded of unpleasant episodes of the past? Maybe it’s something that you did wrong in the past, or it might not even be something you did. Like a broken record, the very fact that some people keep reminding you of your past can be very annoying, and at times, painful to the listener. Sometimes even our Christian brothers and sisters do the same thing. (Something to ponder: Have you really forgiven? Or perhaps you’ve just swept the junk under the rug…so every now and then you still see the junk and you complain how dirty the floor is…etc…)
I’m grateful that God’s forgiveness is different from the forgiveness that comes from mankind.
New King James Version (NKJV)
12 As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us.
New King James Version (NKJV)
25 “I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions for My own sake;
And I will not remember your sins
Can you recall the times in your primary school when you were asked to write down three of your ambitions? Sometimes I wonder why three? Anyway, one of them in my list was astronomer. I loved to look at the night sky. I never really appreciated the sunset scenes until I grew more serious about photography but I’ve always loved looking at the stars. Then one day, the star came looking for me.
It was back in 1992 and I was at the crossroads. I wanted to study abroad but we were not sure if it was financially possible. When I thought I would not have the chance to study overseas, I told my parents I would take up music and teach music. While I was not really at peace, I thought it was the right thing to do. My parents were not keen on my idea and I knew they were trying to find other ways to send me abroad.
I can’t remember if I cried myself to sleep but I was feeling really down. When I was asleep, I don’t know if it was a vision or a dream but I saw darkness surrounding me. The entire surrounding was black. Then from a distance, I saw a light coming. It was like a star moving closer and closer to me until he was right before me. Until today I can remember the brightness. I remember seeing a face but the light was too bright for me to see clearly, and I could hear the sound of voices singing in a language that I did not understand. The music brought me so much peace. When I woke up, I felt strangely peaceful. It was that very same day that I learned that I could study overseas with some financial aid.
Who was the being I saw in my dream at night? (Or vision?) I don’t really know. I would like to believe that the Lord visited me in my dreams but I guess I won’t know for sure until someday in the future.