The Endurance Thing

I guess the sports enthusiasts are all in the olympics fever. I’m not exactly a sports fan although I’m an avid supporter of Team USA (Swimming). There’s only 1 swimmer representing my country. I wish there’s more.

Anyway, when I think about Michael Phelps’s achievement, I’m stunned. I’m sure it took a LOT of HARD WORK! There’s of course the other thing called determination and endurance.

It reminds me of the race we (believers) are running. The moment we accept Jesus as our Saviour, we get into the race…whether we like it, or not.

1 Corinthians 9:24-25 Amplified Bible (AMP)

24 [a]Do you not know that in a race all the runners run [their very best to win], but only one receives the prize? Run [your race] in such a way that you may seize the prize and make it yours! 25 Now every athlete who [goes into training and] competes in the games is disciplined andexercises self-control in all things. They do it to win a [b]crown that withers, but we [do it to receive] an imperishable [crown that cannot wither].

How are you running your race?

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It’s Not About Me

It’s not about me. Really. Sometimes I need to remind myself that I have been purchased with a price. It’s not about my wants and ambitions nor my plans. It’s about what the Lord wants me to do. I need to honour the Lord, in all that I do.

1 Corinthians 6:20 King James Version (KJV)

20 For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.

Philippians 1:20 Good News Translation (GNT)

20 My deep desire and hope is that I shall never fail in my duty, but that at all times, and especially right now, I shall be full of courage, so that with my whole being I shall bring honor to Christ, whether I live or die.

It’s about Him and His plans and purposes for my life. This reminds me of a friend of mine who used to be my assistant when I was a youth cell group leader. He often said, “I die daily.” How true.

I’ve been praying and seeking God about my friend. He seems to be opening doors for me to meet her again. In fact, she’s asking to meet me. Can I ask for another sign from God? I’m so nervous, and I desperately need wisdom from God. It’s impossible for me to counsel my friend based on my background alone. God will just have to fully take control of me and what I say.

Slave to Possessions

I’ve been enjoying the long break away from work so much that I find that I didn’t miss it at all. I’ve never felt the desire to connect to the office network and download my emails, at least not until today and it wasn’t because of desire but I can’t shirk my responsibility.

What I have observed is my passion to write is still there, even when I am not writing. What I need is an open door and inspiration from God to write something that will be my big break.

So much has happened the past year that has prompted me to look for a small property, to prepare for my future. Yes, so much to think about…the funds for the property, the funds to allocate in case of medical emergency (parents), cost of living that’s rising (and thank God for the drop in fuel price lately). Still, I’ve not found any property that I like which I can afford and I don’t see the point of being a slave to the property. Somehow, I don’t have the peace in buying any property at the moment. I’m not sure how to describe that feeling but it’s like a check in my heart that says, “no”.

I’ve also been wrestling so hard, wondering where my path leads. As always, I wish that God would show me a flowchart of my life so that I can see where various decisions would take me. I also know that if I had bought a property last year, I would be trapped and I won’t be able to leave a job that brings no fulfilment to me; and try something else that may bring me more fulfilment but at the same time, might be a drop in income.

Jeremiah 29:11 New Living Translation (NLT)

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

The human side of me thinks I’m crazy to keep hanging on to that hope that God will open the door for me to what I’ve been wired to do. You see, I believe that if I’m already doing what I’m meant to do in this life,… there would be joy and fulfilment. I’m surprised that I’m still sane thus far. But oh, this wait is taking sooooo long.

Still, I know His plans are for good. Lord, please grant me favour, wisdom and peace at the workplace; and while You’re doing that, Lord keep me sane.

An Old Dream – Resurfacing

The video above isn’t related to what I’m writing in this post but I decided to include it because Joshua Bell is an inspiration to me.

Ever since the concert I attended on Sunday, I felt that old dream re-surfacing. Sometimes I wish that it would just die off because it’s like swimming upstream. I sent a note of encouragement but I don’t know if it ever reached the players.

I personally believe that they have potential and I think if they’re given more training and exposure to international artists, it would encourage them to work even harder. The fact that giving their time to play, show that they do have a passion for music. I don’t have any comments for those who joined because they were nagged into doing so. But I long to see an improvement in the quality

If I have unlimited funds, I would invest in the young musicians. It’s an investment because I believe in them and I would set up the music school so that even those who normally don’t get the opportunity to take up music lessons would get that opportunity.

It’s so big that it’s impossible – and that’s how it gets shoved away in the cold corner- unless God steps in. Every now and then, this dream would show its head.

Whenever I see videos like the clip below, my heart is moved; and I think to myself, it is very possible that a child who comes from a family that’s struggling with finances might have that talent hidden in him/her but due to finances, that talent might be buried for a long time.

The Very Long Wait

I do sometimes wonder why I’m so different from my siblings. Why is it that I don’t desire to join in the rat race, trying to climb to the top of an organization – or at least get to a post where I can say “I am a manager”. Sometimes I think life would be easier if I actually want all that for my life because I would be running after that with passion. Instead, the dream buried in my heart has higher chances of failing then actually being fruitful. Yes, I need that “God-factor” ,…the miracle for it to come true.

Why do I like the arts so much when it’s so difficult to “make it” out there? What if – I never make it until I retire…

Getting back in touch with old friends can be a bittersweet experience. On one hand, there’s the joy of getting connected to the past where there’s just so much precious memories. On the other hand, there’s the tiny bit of jealousy that they have attained their success…whatever that may be in their eyes. Some of them have always wanted to be a full time housewife, raising a family…and they’ve achieved it. Some have been outspoken and ambitious since their teens, and they’re now directors, managers etc…and rightly so.

Meanwhile, I wanted to be a famous pianist, famous artist, famous tennis player…(yikes…see that trend)… the word “famous” is there. Of course, you need to be famous, or your artworks don’t sell, or you don’t get invited to perform etc…Of course, none of that materialized.

Today, I want to be a writer – hopefully not a starving writer. Hopefully, … I reach there before retirement. It has been a very long wait…and still waiting.

The Legacy

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about how I want to live, so that I leave a legacy. In other words, the legacy has to outlast me. How do you want to be remembered after you’re no longer living in this world? That’s a question spinning in my head. Sometimes I ask myself why I still feel like giving financially, especially when buying a property here is becoming a big challenge itself. Well, the property will definitely not remember me when I’m gone.

So that brings me to my other “far from my reach” dream. What triggered this was the chaos I experienced when my mom was hospitalized for appendicitis. I realized how difficult it was to get help. I was tired and easily agitated found that I had to depend on myself if I wanted to make things happen. Being the only one around “physically” became a challenge as I had to run errands, and was driving back and forth to the hospital, and had to make sure that there was food at home and the clothes were washed etc… And I had to go back to work as I couldn’t take that many days off. Since I experienced that difficult time, I’m sure someone else somewhere in the world (or even closeby) face the same issues.  Then I thought to myself, it would be great to be able to channel the help to the people who need the help. Sometimes there are people out there who are willing to help. But how do we get the help to those who need help?

Perhaps social networking would help but I thought about starting an actual non-for-profit organization that does this. Imagine having a pool of willing resources…(people willing to help by giving some of their time / knowledge / money) – so that when there’s a sudden urgent need,  (which could be just as simple as climbing up a ladder and changing a light bulb for someone afraid of heights… or dismantling a bed or extra hands in running errands, etc… ), the helpers could offload some of the burdens. I can honestly say that when an emergency happens, and you’re the only one at home handling everything,… your brains go into some kind of “short circuit” where you just shut almost everything out and make sure that what needs to be done – get done. At least I know that happened to me.

So, I’m wondering how I could start something like a help network that’s global. If I manage to set that up, I’ll probably call it something like “Angels Among Us”.

I can almost hear the music playing in the background, “To dream…..the impossible dream.”

Sigh…..Praying that God will link me to the right people who share the same burden.