Praying When One Can’t Say Anything

I met up with an old friend to catch up. I’m glad to hear that she will be getting married in the near future, although it means that she will be leaving the country. Yup! It’s like losing another friend.

Although it’s nice to know that someone loves you and is willing to grow old with you, I think I might end up taking the frying pan and whack the face of a guy who tells me what to wear, what not to wear etc…

I do not know him and I can’t judge. Although there’s a “check” in my heart that wonders if she’s doing the right thing. But, I can’t say anything and I don’t want to say anything. I will just pray for her. That all goes well.

Planners

I had a strange dream last night. Saw myself driving and when I saw a fork road, I took the left turn which eventually led me to a flyover that curves. While driving along that flyover (fast), my car made a right turn. Instead of crashing against the side (walls), somehow, it took off… in flight. That was when I woke up as I thought I was going to fall.

I thought about what it all may mean and was reminded of these 2 verses and it’s quite funny because I’m in the planning/procurement line. Prov 19:21 & Prov 16:9. So I know how it’s like to prepare and plan for things but sometimes the outcome isn’t what we expect or plan for.

I’m reminded that it’s good to make plans but leave room for God to work because His plans are always the best.

Proverbs 19:21 Good News Translation (GNT)

21 People may plan all kinds of things, but the Lord‘s will is going to be done.

Proverbs 16:9 Good News Translation (GNT)

You may make your plans, but God directs your actions.

Know God’s Love

It’s amazing how the message shared by my pastor answered the question I had in my mind – even while I was walking from my car to the church meeting. I’ve been asking God if this is it? Is this my life, going to work from 8am – 5pm, writing from home and not really seeing it go anywhere, dreaming of a better and extraordinary life and yet everything is mundane.

This morning’s message touched on many aspects of my life, the wanting,.. the waiting,… but not the “kiasu”-ism. Wanting a breakthrough but not really seeing it, or it’s just not happening fast enough. (But wait,…it’s God’s timetable. Not mine.) The waiting… I should continue to do what I’m doing while waiting but I guess I tend to give up while waiting because it just takes too long. And what if it doesn’t happen…

1 John 4:18 King James Version (KJV)

18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.

Bad news is so readily available in the newspapers. Sometimes after reading the bad news, it makes me think hard about my future. Today, I’m reminded  about God’s love and it should dispel all fear about the future.

Last Night & The Power Failure

Two weeks flew by without us realizing. There was so much to do, and so much to eat. Yes, I suppose when one migrates to another country, it’s difficult (impossible maybe?) to get Hokkien Mee, Laksa, etc… My younger niece absolutely loves the food at Feng Wei Restaurant in Penang. In the past two weeks, we have had dinner there more than 3 times. She had also insisted on dining there again yesterday evening.

After dinner, it was the last minute packing. The flight was 750am which meant that they had to be at the airport 2 hours ahead of time. I’m not sure who among us, had a good night’s sleep. It was difficult to sleep especially when there was a power failure at night. (It happened just as I was about to fall asleep. Of course, with the heat and the mosquitos, I didn’t end up sleeping.

It feels so odd after having them around for 2 weeks. It’s suddenly so quiet. Well, I learned a few words from my younger niece. “Poo face” and “bug face”. She’s so easily amused and sent me iMessages from her iPad to mine, even when she’s seated right next to me.

Well, it’d be another 1.5 years before our eyes meet again.

Could’ve Been

A few days ago, I was contacted by an old friend whom I’ve not heard from for more than 1 year. I was actually surprised to hear from her. I was told that there will be a new church centre. She said they’re looking for christian themed artworks, and wanted to know if I’m interested. I thought my heart was leaping up with joy will “This is it!” echoing in my entire being.

I told her that I’m open to it but do not know if I have anything completed that meets requirements. At the same time I also prayed to God that although I’m excited about this, I will continue to wait if this isn’t something for me. Spoken too soon perhaps, suddenly there’s no further news from her. Should I give up hope now? I can continue to wait but I just hope I don’t die waiting.

I do not do commissioned artworks. I was approached by another friend who asked if I could paint a Jesus artwork for her. I didn’t think it’s right so rejected it. Moreover, I don’t do portraits.

The Need For Speed

Lately I’ve been feeling a nudge in my heart, stirring me to attempt something new. Obviously if I don’t try anything, nothing will change. At times like this, I really wish I can just let go and do something new… At least something that I am passionate about.
My dreams seem to be on hold. Perhaps it is time to go full throttle. I think I have reached that stage where I need to decide to let go of my dream, or to seriously pursue it..

I Surrender

This is a very beautiful song. In many ways, this reminds me that I have to die daily. I still ponder about the prophecy given to me about my future, and I do wonder how long I need to wait to see it come to pass. However, the confirmation I received gave me an assurance that God will see me through and at the correct time, it will happen.

Isaiah 55:8-9

New International Version (NIV)

 8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the LORD.
9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.