Be Like The Sunflower

I had an interesting dream last night which could be dissected into three sections. In the 3rd section, I saw sunflowers. For a while, I couldn’t understand why. I was hoping to get the understanding in a special way but the scales must’ve fell from my eyes this evening.

I believe God must be confirming the message, to keep looking to Him. He must’ve showed me the sunflowers to remind me to look to Him, like how sunflowers follow the sun, I too, should follow the SON.


Mad About Monet

I saw a 3-part mini-series about the lives of the impressionists and needless to say, I was very inspired. It’s scary to see how difficult it is to make a living from fine arts; and even sadder that some artists don’t get recognized until so much later in their lives. An old friend of mine asked me if I never have to think about money, what would I do? I told him I would just be a fulltime artist and writer. Yes, how can I deny my passion – art, the one thing that makes me feel most alive.

Sometimes it can be lonely because it’s hard to find friends who are just as passionate about it. I think Renoir and Monet must have been really good friends. They probably encouraged one another. It’s a dreadful feeling when nobody wants to buy the work which you have poured your heart into. And painful when people want the artwork but ask you to give it as a gift as they’re unwilling to pay. Nothing is free, I repeat. An art given away is costly because of the time and effort put into it. Additionally, how can you price the emotions that go into the artwork?

Anyway, I have been wondering what to paint for the 2nd piece which I need to work on. While it’s true I’ve been reading a lot about Monet lately, I’ve also been staring at the water lilies without really knowing why. I found myself looking through my old photo albums a while ago. Lo and behold, a photo of a water lily caught my eye. It’s almost as if there’s this knowing feeling that I should immortalize that flower. So, I guess that’s what my next subject would be. Amazingly, I also realized that I have a square canvas perfect just for it; and I had bought that a week before I knew what to paint. I guess God sometimes does lead us mysteriously.


The Sunset


They say that the sunset scene at Oia, Santorini is very spectacular. I personally can’t wait to see it. One more year before I get to go. I can’t wait to paint the sunset at Santorini. Of course, the fear is that I may actually fall in love with the country that I won’t want to leave. Yes, one more year to go. I also look forward to see some Greek friends whom I’ve not seen since I was 17.

“Mirror Mirror On The Wall”

It’s been close to four months that I’m having this knee injury, although I’m beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Went to see a chiropractor who told me that the injury was caused by imbalances. Weakness in some muscles, causing others to compensate etc.. and because it’s been a while, healing and recovery takes a while too.

I can say that the past few months have changed me. I think I’m a lot calmer now. My visits to the hospital occasionally included tears because of fear. The fear of not being able to recover well and the fear of not being able to walk properly again. I think that one moment when I was so close to going for surgery, I had to admit to God that I didn’t trust Him enough. It’s like one of those mornings during my quiet time that I trashed it all out. Naturally I didn’t go through with the surgery. And still, it was a challenge to trust God because I was expecting instant healing. Yes, I have asked why others were healed instantly and mine was like a long process. The answer is, …there is no answer. I just had to tell myself, “I believe God is still working on my knees.”

Ever since I started seeing the chiropractor, I started walking much better and having better posture, although the pain on my knees is still there when I climb up and down the stairs. But based on my visit yesterday, he was confident that all the symptoms can be reversed. So, praise God!!! Now, I just have to wait for the manifestation.

The other part of me that’s changed is, I’m less agitated about what people think of me. There was someone in my past who commented that my shirt was not in fashion anymore, and for a while, it annoyed me… but when I look back,.. perhaps she wants to be fashionable etc… I wasn’t going to stop her from following the trends. However, that blouse, regardless of how out of season it could be, it was still my favourite, and I’d still wear it. And, so what if I preferred wearing slacks and blouses to dresses and skirts? I’m still entitled to have my own preference.

Yes, I have white hair on my head and I’m not bothered to pluck them, cos they do not trouble me. So, I grow old… but everyone does anyways.

I used to fear the person I see in the mirror as I remembered what people said of me, but through this painful experience, I’m glad I know who my friends are. Yes, those who know me for the real me, and accept me just the same without judgements.

Truth be told, I love dogs and horses and dislike cats and brussels sprouts. And yes, I’m not immune to disagreements but I’ve not slapped anyone’s face. I don’t think I’d ever have the guts to do so even if I had thought of doing it.

As imperfect as I am, yet, Jesus thought of me. And I’m thankful of that. So, mirror mirror on the wall, I fear you no more. It’s what God thinks of me and what He says I am that matters.


I was a 15 year old teen when I started using fragrances, willingly. Prior to that, I didn’t like to use perfume but I was constantly sprayed at by my mom. She had sprayed Blase on me. It was one of those cheaper Eau De Toilette and that was the night I attended a barbecue and met my first crush. After he returned to England, the smell of Blase reminded me of him. I remember sneaking into my mom’s room and looking for that special fragrance. Then, one day when I wasn’t careful, I dropped the bottle and it broke. What’s left was spilled on the floor, and the fragrance filled the entire room. I had wiped the floor and swept away the broken glass from the shattered bottle but I couldn’t avoid telling the truth that the bottle broke.

Yesterday, as I read the news all over that Steve Jobs had passed away, I was saddened because we have lost someone who has affected our lives with the Apple products and somehow, life just wasn’t the same again. This year, I lost a friend who had converted me to the dark side. Yes, I sold off my PC and bought a MacBook Pro more than a year ago and I realize, I could never go back to using a PC for my personal use. While I do not know Mr. Steve Jobs personally, I greatly salute him for all his contributions. I am sure he must have worked very hard too and my heart goes out to his family. Somehow that piece of sad news reminded me of the perfume that spilled on the floor, and how the fragrance filled the room even though the liquid has been wiped off. Then, I thought about Steve Jobs and how his contributions have indeed improved our lives. He may have left us, but his legacy goes on.

Then it got me thinking, what will be my legacy? What will I leave behind? What do I want to hear people saying about me in my wake service?

The fact remains is that we all will die one day. That fact alone should change how we live our lives. It’s yet another challenge to follow our heart and obey God.

Psalm 90:12 (NIV)

Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.