It’s been close to four months that I’m having this knee injury, although I’m beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Went to see a chiropractor who told me that the injury was caused by imbalances. Weakness in some muscles, causing others to compensate etc.. and because it’s been a while, healing and recovery takes a while too.
I can say that the past few months have changed me. I think I’m a lot calmer now. My visits to the hospital occasionally included tears because of fear. The fear of not being able to recover well and the fear of not being able to walk properly again. I think that one moment when I was so close to going for surgery, I had to admit to God that I didn’t trust Him enough. It’s like one of those mornings during my quiet time that I trashed it all out. Naturally I didn’t go through with the surgery. And still, it was a challenge to trust God because I was expecting instant healing. Yes, I have asked why others were healed instantly and mine was like a long process. The answer is, …there is no answer. I just had to tell myself, “I believe God is still working on my knees.”
Ever since I started seeing the chiropractor, I started walking much better and having better posture, although the pain on my knees is still there when I climb up and down the stairs. But based on my visit yesterday, he was confident that all the symptoms can be reversed. So, praise God!!! Now, I just have to wait for the manifestation.
The other part of me that’s changed is, I’m less agitated about what people think of me. There was someone in my past who commented that my shirt was not in fashion anymore, and for a while, it annoyed me… but when I look back,.. perhaps she wants to be fashionable etc… I wasn’t going to stop her from following the trends. However, that blouse, regardless of how out of season it could be, it was still my favourite, and I’d still wear it. And, so what if I preferred wearing slacks and blouses to dresses and skirts? I’m still entitled to have my own preference.
Yes, I have white hair on my head and I’m not bothered to pluck them, cos they do not trouble me. So, I grow old… but everyone does anyways.
I used to fear the person I see in the mirror as I remembered what people said of me, but through this painful experience, I’m glad I know who my friends are. Yes, those who know me for the real me, and accept me just the same without judgements.
Truth be told, I love dogs and horses and dislike cats and brussels sprouts. And yes, I’m not immune to disagreements but I’ve not slapped anyone’s face. I don’t think I’d ever have the guts to do so even if I had thought of doing it.
As imperfect as I am, yet, Jesus thought of me. And I’m thankful of that. So, mirror mirror on the wall, I fear you no more. It’s what God thinks of me and what He says I am that matters.