The Battle In The Mind

While I was working on my artworks to submit for a competition, I knew that I should submit 3 works because the entrance fee entitles me to submit up to 3 artworks. The problem was that I only completed 2. Working on the 3rd piece was like getting into a battle, in the mind.

I looked at the old photos I took and one of them captured my eye. Thought I heard a whisper that said, “Do that one.” At a glance, the first thing I said (in my mind) was “I can’t do it.” There’s so much details involved.

Nevertheless, I started working on it. Started with the easy parts,..the background. Then slowly working my way to the foreground and the details.

Sometimes, we ourselves are the ones that stop us from achieving our dreams… because we perceive that it’s just too big, too difficult, and we don’t know how to do it….

Then again, if it’s the dream that God had put in our beings,…as a seed dream, He will cause that dream to grow, in due time.

Philippians 1:6 King James Version (KJV)

Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:

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Do you have an Isaac?

The title of this post is somewhat strange I suppose but it relates to something once prophesied on me many years ago..almost 20 years ago. That was my Isaac, something I held on for so many years. When I was in my 20s, watching my peers get married one by one made me long for that as well. But I recalled that I told the Lord the kind of guy I desired, and imagine the feeling when someone prophesied to me that I would have a family of my own and that my husband would be serving in the same ministry with me. Then of course I waited and waited and waited. Because of that prophecy, I somehow managed to protect my heart and did not give it away to simply anyone. The first 10 years were difficult because family reunions would somehow put that pressure on me. “Don’t be so picky.” “You should be more open.” But I knew what I wanted.

The second 10 years became easier because they gave up on pushing me and I gave them a cold shoulder if they attempted to set me up. (Yes, that really happened. I found the guy totally boring and playing iPhone games with my niece was much more fun.) As I grew older, the prophecy that was spoken gets placed higher and higher in the shelf till I’d forget about it. Except during those odd moments when somehow I get reminded of it.

Recently, I sought the Lord for answers. I didn’t want to be reminded of this word anymore because I suddenly feel that the season is over. As I said before, the longer it takes, the more impossible it gets. I wanted to move on without being reminded of that old prophecy. Then every time I’m reminded of it, I end up looking at what I don’t have, when on usual days, I’ve not even felt shortchanged, or that I missed out on anything.

For a while, after seeking God, I thought He wanted me to continue waiting but after praying for clarity, I came across these 2 verses that spoke to me. Finally, I feel set free.

“Let your eyes look right on [with fixed purpose], and let your gaze be straight before you.”

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭4:25‬ ‭AMP‬‬

http://bible.com/8/pro.4.25.am

“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.”

‭‭Psalm‬ ‭32:8‬ ‭NIV‬‬

http://bible.com/111/psa.32.8.niv

I’m not sure if the one who prophesied on me had heard correctly, misheard, miscommunicate or whatever but I feel the peace knowing that God will guide me in the way I should go. I now know that I can surrender my Isaac and move on in peace; and then treat the occasional reminders as just memories of the past.

I’m Alive…

If there’s one word I can use to describe what I’m feeling this moment,…”Alive” would be it. It’s been a long time since I have this kind of feeling. Doing art again makes me feel so alive. Like I can’t wait to wake up from my sleep cos I want to keep drawing…

There’s just one problem, I have to go to the office first.

Who Are You Following?

Last night, I told myself that I had to spend some time doing artwork. Even if I didn’t really know what to draw and I didn’t really want to use any reference picture, I took out my Wacom tablet and started this unknownand unplanned piece. I started with the darker shades and moved on with the brighter colours. As I continued painting, I started seeing a picture in my mind.

Depending on where you are, at this point,.. you could be following Him right now. Know that the LORD loves you and He will always guide you.

Isaiah 58:11 King James Version (KJV)

11 And the Lord shall guide thee continually, and satisfy thy soul in drought, and make fat thy bones: and thou shalt be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters fail not.

"Come follow Me"
“Come follow Me”

If you haven’t made that journey,.. what are you waiting for? What the world offers will never truly satisfy you.

Matthew 4:19 King James Version (KJV)

19 And he saith unto them, Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.

Sometimes…

“Keep me suspended in time with you
Don’t let this moment die
I get a feeling when I’m with you
None of the rules apply
But I know for certain
Goodbye is a crime
So love if you need me
Suspend me in time”
(lyrics by John Farrar)

New Things (continuation)

I’m very excited because of a letter I received today. This letter is from a man of God, whose ministry I’m supporting. I don’t know him, and he doesn’t know me personally. We haven’t met before but what he wrote in his letter is a confirmation to the messages I have received in my dreams. He wrote the letter on April 27, 2015. That was before I even had that dream about packing up the old and getting ready for the new. He wrote many things. One of it is “The Word of God in you is working something new.”

Isaiah 60:1 King James Version (KJV)

60 Arise, shine; for thy light is come, and the glory of the Lord is risen upon thee.

The Old, The New & The Unknown

When I read this morning’s devotional material, I was reminded that there’s a season for everything. Looking back, I can honestly say that the LORD has been with me all the while, watching over me. I’m so blessed that when I was studying in Canada, I never faced any danger. There was no tornado watch, no heavy thunderstorm, no earthquake etc… There was freezing rain but generally, I was safe. I’ve fallen down before, even fractured my tailbone but I didn’t have any bad experience except maybe a broken heart or two. I had a dream a few nights ago where I saw myself packing at the living room downstairs. There was someone helping me whom I assumed was my mom but I couldn’t see her face. While we packed, my father came out from his bedroom downstairs (again… I never saw his face but he came out from my father’s room and I called him “father” in my dream). He walked towards the windows, like he was getting ready for something. I remember asking him what he was doing. He said, “don’t worry. Continue what you are doing.” Then I saw a black shadowy figure trying to break in. But my father was already there, holding what looked like a baseball bat in his hand getting ready to swing to hit the intruder. I woke up after that. The father in my dream is symbolic, representing God the Father. I believe God is reminding me that He’s aware of what’s going on in my life and my life is practically an open book to Him because He formed me. Nothing catches Him by surprise. And God is with me all the time, to protect me because He is my refuge. (I once had a dream where I saw myself being chased by a dragon and I ran into a cave to hide. In that cave, I was safe.)

Proverbs 18:10 Good News Translation (GNT)

10 The Lord is like a strong tower, where the righteous can go and be safe

There’s a process involved in everything, an on-going process of sanctification – like how the potter is shaping the clay. While all that is going on, the Holy Spirit is helping me “pack up” the old, to prepare for the new.

Psalm 139:16 Amplified Bible (AMP)

16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance, and in Your book all the days [of my life] were written before ever they took shape, when as yet there was none of them.