This song has been like a healing balm for me, literally like fresh rain falling on my face. It’s just a few more days to go before Sunday and I feel more and more frightened and worried because I don’t have the song list and there’s a high chance that I won’t get the list until quite late. This means I won’t have enough time to learn up the songs. Being on the stage again scares me because it will (once again) open the possibility of people saying all sorts of things, “can’t hear you”, “you’re too stiff”, “you should dance a bit”,…etc… and being compared to others. I did want to switch to just handling the projection. If I didn’t meet their expectations in the past, there’s no way I will meet their expectations this day.
The past week, I’ve been wishing and praying that God would take this cup away from me. However, it seems like that will not be happening.
My only comfort is knowing that God will be with me there.