The Test

I suppose it should be no secret that we still get tested, or allowed to be tested. I may be in a season of testing. You know the feeling when something inside you tells you that a few people whom you know could be heading towards promotion. Oh, those mixed feelings. Yes, I honestly don’t mind the extra income which comes with the promotion but I’ve never been a rat-race runner. I’m not a person hungry for power, and looking back, if I had not gone to Waterloo for Mathematics (or Computer Science..originally), I would’ve stayed back and taken up music. I probably would be a music teacher and might have been contented that way. But it didn’t happen that way, so, I am still heavily slanted towards music, art and writing. I felt as though I had this question thrown at me which I needed to answer honestly. “How do you feel if they got promoted and you didn’t?” – For a while, I have to say there’s a slight jealousy in my heart. But it’s not because of the role that could be higher than mine. Instead it’s because of the current outlook of the economy, the poor job market etc…which means I still struggle in believing that will take care of me. I was reminded of my experience in KL, where God provided me a banana (through a stranger) and how that showed just how real He is, and that He knows what I need before I even say it. I need to consciously remind myself that God can be trusted. He will be my supply.

Philippians 4:19 King James Version (KJV)

19 But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

My other weakness is the constant longing to be appreciated. I am reminded that even when others may not see or appreciate what I do, God sees. Only He can make my life whole.

Matthew 6:33 Amplified Bible (AMP)

33 But seek ([a]aim at and strive after) first of all His kingdom and His righteousness ([b]His way of doing and being right), and then all these things [c]taken together will be given you besides.

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