The Word “If”…

I have had one of the worst weeks. It started out with the same old visitors who came by about 3 times a year. I’ve never enjoyed having them around because many times (if not always), they leave empty beer cans on the living room table, used mugs lying around, lie around the living room (the couch) ~ shirtless, and of course, leave the worn shirt on the couch. Couldn’t they put the dirty shirt in the room that they were allocated? Hospitality stay still doesn’t include maid service. They just never seem to get that.

I thought that I could finally get some peace when they left but the week was going to turn even more chaotic without my realization. I kept thinking…

~ if she had not bought so much cockles and shared them with my mom, perhaps my mom wouldn’t have the bacteria that caused stomach discomfort.

~ if that discomfort didn’t happen, perhaps the appendix wouldn’t have been inflamed and therefore wouldn’t need operation

~ if there was no need for an operation, she wouldn’t have to spend so many days in the hospital wondering why the blood pressure still hasn’t gone back to normal

~ if this horrible episode didn’t happen, my week wouldn’t have felt like I’m facing a tornado, and I wouldn’t need to look for a bed for her so she doesn’t have to climb up the stairs

~ and I wouldn’t feel so horrible not being able to get help to dismantle my bed.

Ah…Peace, why are you so difficult to find this moment?



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