Some friends have told me that they don’t know how I was able endure throughout the year 2012. It’s not like I never had bouts of depression because I did. And yet, I’m thankful for the friends and pastors who stood by me. Looking back, I wonder if the workout and the quest to be fit and have a beautiful figure became my idol at some point. It’s dangerous when you start wanting to be someone else, which perhaps, at one time, I did try to be someone else. I worked really hard in my workouts. I can’t recall when wanting to be healthy and fit became wanting to look good.
Then of course,when I had to stop my exercises and was housebound for 1 month, I was locked in with my parents and just a few friends who came to visit me to pray for me and just to support me. Most importantly, I had all the time in the world to read the Bible. I had time to paint and somehow whenever I paint, I’m reminded of God. And I had to stop trying to be someone else because He reminded me that He didn’t create me to be that someone whom I was trying to be. He created me unique, with the talents and gifts etc…
To those who thought I was always strong throughout last year, I’m afraid they’re wrong. It’s just that I had a Rock to lean on. And the LORD is good.
Psalm 73:26 My mind and body may fail; but God is the rock for my mind and my portion forever. (CJB)
2 Samuel 22:3 the God who is my Rock, in whom I find shelter, my shield, the power that saves me, my stronghold and my refuge. My savior, you have saved me from violence.